Tuesday, March 29, 2011

it's been too long: a recap

I’m back! I hate that I’ve been gone so long, the past few months have been crazy.  Forgive me?
As for my time away, there were some low points, but overall it’s been very, very good. And not just weight good, (oh, we’ll get to that) but just… good. No- great, I’ll say it.

So, to make a long story short, the reason for my silence started because I had some anxiety/panic issues.  This has been simmering under the surface for awhile, but it finally came to a head resulting in me going to the doctor and getting some anti-depressants. I knew things weren't perfect, but until I'd been on the meds for awhile I didn't realize how bad things had gotten. Now? I feel awesome. I keep walking around the house telling my husband, "I feel so... normal. I'm like a normal person again! I love it!" I took for granted how amazing it feels to be able to think clearly without the fog of depression hanging over me. Meds + husband/family/friend support + lots (and lots) of prayer have made me feel like a whole new girl.  God is always good, but I'm feeling especially blessed right now.

So, without further ado, the long awaited week-by-week recap of my time away:
Week 3:
Weight: 193.8
+/-: -5.4 lbs
I lost 5.4 lbs because I pretty much wasn’t eating. (Probably on average 10 out of my 29 daily points) This weigh in was the day after my anxiety issues peaked, so for most of that week, I was too nervous/nauseous to really think about eating.  So, while not the greatest reason for (or healthiest) weight loss, I'm not complaining. I'll keep that 5.4 loss, thankyouverymuch!

Week 4:
Weight: 193.2
+/-: -.6
Because of the issues from the week before, I decided I was going to be a little more lax in my eating, just to “get back into it.” Happily, because I was still in the ‘points’ mindset, I still lost .6 lbs, even though I was hardly tracking and not eating as great as the weeks before. I thought I was going to gain, so a .6 loss was awesome! The end of this week was also when the medicine started taking affect, so I think this new found ‘normal’ was good for my weight loss.

Week 5:
I totally skipped this meeting. My birthday was the 15th which I spent at my mom and dad’s. I ate out 3 times in two days, and my mom cooked me some amazing food. I tried to be reasonable, but come on, it was my birthday! All I wanted was a Three Rivers burger, Pacific Pizza, and my mom’s mashed potatoes. Obviously I don’t know because I didn’t weigh in, but I'm sure I gained. 
Plus I was exhausted from the trip (Thursdays are my 'Monday', so on meeting days my sleep schedule is a little wonky) so I figured it was better to get some sleep.
Um… and my honey got me a Wii and Wii Fit for my birthday, and I just really wanted to set it up and play. Okay, there, I said it- I just wanted to play with my birthday present!

Week 6:
Weight: 188.8
+/-: -4.4 lbs
LOSER! I couldn't believe that even with my birthday binge, I was able to get it back together for a loss. This was exciting for me because it showed me that even when I had 'birthday week'-type situations that I had the power to get myself back on track. I’ve felt pretty positive through this whole process, but that was definitely a high point. Kind of a ‘nothing can stop me!’ feeling.

Week 7:
Weight: 189.4
+/-: + .6 lbs
Loser has a totally different meaning this time, haha. I wasn’t happy with the gain, of course, but I handled it pretty well. I kind of decided I was just going to forget about it and move on. Honestly, 4 months ago I was not like that at all. I was the queen of not letting it go. Changes, changes everywhere!
I think part of the reason for the gain was that I wasn’t eating great foods. I was staying within my points, but ate out a few times and ate generally crappy at home. Also, 1)it was that time of the month, (I totally whispered that in case there are any men around or reading...) and 2) this was the week that I started working out more. My leader (who weighed me in that week) said sometimes when you start working out you gain.
Or it could be the fact that I wanted to eat EVERYTHING IN SIGHT that week. (see #1 above)
Others have excuses, I have my reasons why. (If you can name that song you’ll be my favorite.)

Week 8:
Weight: 187.6
+/-: -1.8
There we go, that’s more like it. I tried to be a little better about my food this week. I'm sure not craving chocolate and salt and every bad thing ever made really helps with that.

Week 9:
Weight: 187.8
+/-: +.2
Uh, oops. Another gain. I’d love to say it’s because I started the Couch-to-5k program (I did, can you believe it? And I love it… when I’m done running. During the running? not so much) and I gained all sorts of crazy muscle, but I’m pretty sure it’s because I wasn’t very disciplined with my eating. (Are we noticing a pattern here?) On a positive note, I spoke during the “how’d your week go?” portion of the meeting for the first time. I had to share the fact that on Monday of that week I had discovered a small line of muscle definition on my arm!! I’ve never had muscle before, this is so exciting!! (<- note the overuse of exclamation points, this is a big deal people.)
I made my husband take a picture of my unflexed and flexed arms.
And I also make him feel my biceps like, every day.

muscle copy

Does anybody want tickets to the gun show?
Oh yeah- I just went there.
I went there and I bought property.

Whew, that's a lot of ground for one little post. This week's weigh in totally deserves it's own post, so stay tuned!

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