shopping in my own closet

Last year I was shopping with my mom and she bought me a jacket at the Columbia outlet.  I really needed a rain jacket, and this one was so cute that I couldn't pass it up, even though I could barely zip it up.  I've actually only wore it a few times because everytime I put it on I just felt gross, knowing I couldn't even wear it zipped up because it was too tight.  (and if it's the type of weather you need a rain jacket for, do you really want to be walking around in a jacket that's not zipped? I think not.)
Today I came across it and decided to try it on...

It FITS!

It's a great day to be alive...

Have you ever heard that Travis Tritt song? It came on the radio this morning as I was driving to work and I was BELTING it out. (Later I switched to Casting Crowns, which I was also belting out. I'm such a superstar in my car.  anywhoo...)

I am definitely feeling great today. I woke up early last night and was unable to fall back to sleep, so I decided to just get up early. I'm finally feeling almost back to my normal self after about a week of bleh, so I was excited to work out. (I only worked out twice last week.) I'm still amazed at how energized I feel even after a simple workout. Our bodies are so amazing. I was telling a friend the other day, sometimes when I'm on the treadmill I just praise God for the things my body can do. Granted, 3 minutes of running is not much to some people, but to me? AH-MAZE-ING. Slowly but surely I'm finding small changes in my strength, endurance, and energy level.  A lot of times it's not as fast as I'd like, but I keep trying to focus on how far I've come, not how far I have to go. (boy do I have a long way to go...)

Anyway, on to the weekly updates.

Someday, when I grow up, weekly updates will actually be weekly, as opposed to bi weekly, monthly or quarterly. :)

Week 11:

3/31/11

Weight: 180.8

+/-: -1.8

Yay! I was a little nervous that after last week's big loss my body would freak and try to hold onto weight. I really tried to wise up this week about food, making my snacks more whole foods (mostly fruit) than processed. In the beginning I did okay with this, but the last few weeks have been a lot of not-so-bad-but-not-so-great foods. I am still not a perfect eater by any means, I still have a lot of changes to make, but I like that I am being much more healthy than I was before. Feels like progress! :)

Week 12:

4/7/11

Weight: 181.4

+/-: +.6

Well, apparently I'm trying to start a pattern, lose one week, gain one week, lather, rinse, repeat.  This last week I was "out sick" from working out most of the week, between a tooth getting pulled, a nasty cold and whatever else came my way, I just took a break from working out some days. I did get two days in, but it didn't hold up to the weeks before where I was getting activity in 5-6 times a week. The cool thing about this (cool being a very relative term here, okay?) is that I got to see very clearly how much working out is beneficial to my weight loss goals. I think sometimes, when I'm tired, I just wonder if it's even worth it to work out, and this week shows very clearly that yes, it is worth it.

Here's a picture of me at my mom's last week, after 30 day shred. I'll say it, I'm loving the red-faced, sweaty, crazy hair, just-worked-out look. That's the face of ACCOMPLISHMENT BABY! This was one of the 2 days I worked out last week and it felt GOOD! :)

Do you guys have a contingency plan for sicky weeks? I'm trying to figure out what I should do the next time this situation comes around.

Hope everyone else had a good week!!

treadmill inspiration

 Just thought I'd show you my little treadmill set up.  Unpredictable weather here in the northwest and one too many sex offender notifications in the mail means I will be doing the bulk of my running indoors for the time being. Because my bland wall isn't the most motivating sight to see when I'm huffing and puffing away, I decided to make myself a little inspiration wall. I wanted to make a more elaborate collage-type thing, but the other day I was wanting to get my workout in and sorely needed the motivation, so I ripped a few pages out of my magazines and taped 'em on up.  When I'm in a running part of the workout and just wanting to quit, I pretend I'm the girl second in from the left. Doesn't she make running look easy? Someday, someday...
And of course, on the far left, Miranda Lambert. I just love her.  Her looks, her voice, her attitude. She's the whole package.
Do you keep visual cues or motivators for yourself? I'm constantly pulling stuff out of magazines and sticking them in my planner. (pictures, quotes, etc..) Or perusing clothing websites and dreaming of all the choices there are in regular (non-plus) sizes.
Or staring in the mirror and realizing if you squint and turn your head to the side, you can see the beginnings of what might actually be a waist...

it's been too long: a recap

via Fetch Dickson

I’m back! I hate that I’ve been gone so long, the past few months have been crazy.  Forgive me?
As for my time away, there were some low points, but overall it’s been very, very good. And not just weight good, (oh, we’ll get to that) but just… good. No- great, I’ll say it.

So, to make a long story short, the reason for my silence started because I had some anxiety/panic issues.  This has been simmering under the surface for awhile, but it finally came to a head resulting in me going to the doctor and getting some anti-depressants. I knew things weren't perfect, but until I'd been on the meds for awhile I didn't realize how bad things had gotten. Now? I feel awesome. I keep walking around the house telling my husband, "I feel so... normal. I'm like a normal person again! I love it!" I took for granted how amazing it feels to be able to think clearly without the fog of depression hanging over me. Meds + husband/family/friend support + lots (and lots) of prayer have made me feel like a whole new girl.  God is always good, but I'm feeling especially blessed right now.

So, without further ado, the long awaited week-by-week recap of my time away:
 
Week 3:
2/3/11
Weight: 193.8
+/-: -5.4 lbs
I lost 5.4 lbs because I pretty much wasn’t eating. (Probably on average 10 out of my 29 daily points) This weigh in was the day after my anxiety issues peaked, so for most of that week, I was too nervous/nauseous to really think about eating.  So, while not the greatest reason for (or healthiest) weight loss, I'm not complaining. I'll keep that 5.4 loss, thankyouverymuch!

Week 4:
2/10/11
Weight: 193.2
+/-: -.6
Because of the issues from the week before, I decided I was going to be a little more lax in my eating, just to “get back into it.” Happily, because I was still in the ‘points’ mindset, I still lost .6 lbs, even though I was hardly tracking and not eating as great as the weeks before. I thought I was going to gain, so a .6 loss was awesome! The end of this week was also when the medicine started taking affect, so I think this new found ‘normal’ was good for my weight loss.

Week 5:
2/17/11
I totally skipped this meeting. My birthday was the 15th which I spent at my mom and dad’s. I ate out 3 times in two days, and my mom cooked me some amazing food. I tried to be reasonable, but come on, it was my birthday! All I wanted was a Three Rivers burger, Pacific Pizza, and my mom’s mashed potatoes. Obviously I don’t know because I didn’t weigh in, but I'm sure I gained. 
Plus I was exhausted from the trip (Thursdays are my 'Monday', so on meeting days my sleep schedule is a little wonky) so I figured it was better to get some sleep.
Um… and my honey got me a Wii and Wii Fit for my birthday, and I just really wanted to set it up and play. Okay, there, I said it- I just wanted to play with my birthday present!

Week 6:
2/24/11
Weight: 188.8
+/-: -4.4 lbs
LOSER! I couldn't believe that even with my birthday binge, I was able to get it back together for a loss. This was exciting for me because it showed me that even when I had 'birthday week'-type situations that I had the power to get myself back on track. I’ve felt pretty positive through this whole process, but that was definitely a high point. Kind of a ‘nothing can stop me!’ feeling.

Week 7:
3/3/11
Weight: 189.4
+/-: + .6 lbs
Loser has a totally different meaning this time, haha. I wasn’t happy with the gain, of course, but I handled it pretty well. I kind of decided I was just going to forget about it and move on. Honestly, 4 months ago I was not like that at all. I was the queen of not letting it go. Changes, changes everywhere!
I think part of the reason for the gain was that I wasn’t eating great foods. I was staying within my points, but ate out a few times and ate generally crappy at home. Also, 1)it was that time of the month, (I totally whispered that in case there are any men around or reading...) and 2) this was the week that I started working out more. My leader (who weighed me in that week) said sometimes when you start working out you gain.
Or it could be the fact that I wanted to eat EVERYTHING IN SIGHT that week. (see #1 above)
Others have excuses, I have my reasons why. (If you can name that song you’ll be my favorite.)

Week 8:
3/10/11
Weight: 187.6
+/-: -1.8
There we go, that’s more like it. I tried to be a little better about my food this week. I'm sure not craving chocolate and salt and every bad thing ever made really helps with that.

Week 9:
3/17/11
Weight: 187.8
+/-: +.2
Uh, oops. Another gain. I’d love to say it’s because I started the Couch-to-5k program (I did, can you believe it? And I love it… when I’m done running. During the running? not so much) and I gained all sorts of crazy muscle, but I’m pretty sure it’s because I wasn’t very disciplined with my eating. (Are we noticing a pattern here?) On a positive note, I spoke during the “how’d your week go?” portion of the meeting for the first time. I had to share the fact that on Monday of that week I had discovered a small line of muscle definition on my arm!! I’ve never had muscle before, this is so exciting!! (<- note the overuse of exclamation points, this is a big deal people.)
I made my husband take a picture of my unflexed and flexed arms.
And I also make him feel my biceps like, every day.



Does anybody want tickets to the gun show?
Oh yeah- I just went there.
I went there and I bought property.

Whew, that's a lot of ground for one little post. This week's weigh in totally deserves it's own post, so stay tuned!

me? oh stop, I'm blushing...

I'm a little excited about this. (umm, really I'm a lot excited) Bethany from B getting hot! bestowed the 'Stylish Blogger Award' on little (big, haha) ol' me! Being in this community of bloggers who are going through a lot of the same things as me has been incredibly inspiring. Bethany's blog is really great, she has such a positive attitude and is running full force in making healthier choices in her life. (Read this post, all of the stairs made me tired just reading it. This girl is hard core, she's not doing anything halfway, that's for sure.) You must go check her out.
Okay, so for the blog award we are supposed to:

1. Link back to the person who gave the award to you
2. Share seven things about yourself
3. Pass the award on to 15 recently discovered great bloggers (or as many as you can).
4. Contact those bloggers and tell them they’ve won.

Seven things about myself, let's see...

1. I grew up in Forks, WA. Yes, that Forks. No, I don't know any vampires. (I did, however, work at the Miller Tree Inn for years, which is now the 'Cullen house' on the Twilight tour.)
2. I'm 4'10" and my husband is 6'4". That's a foot and a half difference. Comes in handy when I need things from the top shelf or the bottom of the washing machine.
3. I used to be able to quote the movie Maverick from beginning to end.
4. My favorite magazines, in no particular order are: Martha Stewart Weddings, Glamour, National Geographic, Self and Real Simple.
5. If I could go to any consert in the world, it would be Alabama. I'm hoping against hope for a reunion tour. (pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease)
6. I love reading about Siberia, Antarctica, Iceland and Alaska. And also clicking around on google maps. I'll always be a small town girl at heart, (hence the blog name) and have never really loved living in the city, after being in the city for 3 years, I'm swinging way over to the other end of the spectrum and craving some isolation. (Although, it is nice to have mall 10 minutes away. Growing up the closest mall was 3 hours away, so that's still a little exciting for this small town girl.)
7. If it comes in pink, that's the one I'm buying.

I know it says 15 blogs, but I need to get off the computer and get ready for work, so I'm going to leave you with the first person who came to mind when I was thinking of who I'd list here: Nicole at The Woman in Training. Her blog is about her 'adventures on the bumpy road to womanhood'.  Her posts are so fun and she's a really great photographer. When I see a new post from her in my reader it's always one of the first I click on.

Well, I hope you guys enjoyed learning a little about me. I think I could stand to be a tad more interesting, because it was really hard coming up with stuff, haha. Have a good rest of your weekend!

on my way to a new me!

 

Does that post sound too optimistic? I'm feeling pretty optimistic, I'm not gonna lie. Today is my second day on Weight Watchers.  Although I know it's not going to be a walk in the park, I can't help but feel excited about the changes I'm making. I've half-heartedly tried to be healthy and lose weight before, only to give up after a few days because I was overwhelmeld, confused or, let's face it, just plain lazy. This time it feels different though. (cliche after cliche, please bear with me.) I was telling my mom the other night, I think the reason it feels different this time is because it's not just that I want to lose weight or that I'm super motivated, because I've been there before. It's that I actually feel like I can lose weight. Even after 2 days I already feel like I have the tools and knowledge I need to do this. I feel like I'm in control of the results, instead of wondering if what I'm doing will even work.

 

My Stats:
height: 4'10" (If you have a short joke, I've heard it before.)
starting weight: 205lbs
(as of 1/13, my first meeting)
immediate goal: 195lbs
end goal: 105lbs

 

the end goal I'm not set in stone on, but 100lbs to lose seemed like a nice round number. For my height the ideal weight is between 96-120lbs, so 105 is middle-ish. I don't think I want to set it at 120 and be teetering on the edge of an 'unhealthy' BMI. If I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this. But I can reevaluate when I get closer, maybe check and see what the doctor says I should be.

 

I've always been heavy, not very active and an unhealthy eater to boot. I wish I could say that it was genetics, or a health condition, or a super busy lifestyle that got (and kept) me where I am, but it's not. Here's the truth: I am one of the laziest people I know. Honestly. And not just couch potato lazy, but lazy about dreams and goals. I didn't make a lot because I was afraid of bailing out or failing. Another problem was when I did make goals, or want to change, I would always be of the all-or-nothing, go-big-or-go-home mentality. I get easily overwhelmed anyway, so I'd take on too many changes only to drop them after a short while because I couldn't process it.
Weight Watchers has everyone start out with a small goal, 5-10%. So the all-or-nothing, go-big-or-go-home part of me sort of balked at that. 5%? come on! But the other part of me, the part that's dying to hike with her husband, shop in normal stores, not worry about health issues? She's a little excited about it. 5% of my weight is 10 lbs, which, although I have a lot more to lose, is no small feat. I know that small goals (which equals victories more often) will be super helpful. I'm already looking forward to hitting that 10 pound mark. and after that is the 10% (20lbs) mark, and when you hit that Weight Watchers gives you a key chain. Can I just tell you I love keychains? When I was a kid I had handfuls of them before I even had any keys to put on them. I've slimmed down my keychain collection considerably, so I'm definitely open to adding some bling. And from the pictures I saw online, it's pretty cute. The really cool thing is anytime you hit big milestones, they give you a charm to put on it. LOVE IT! Who wouldn't love it?

I'll leave you with some reasons I want to lose weight:

• reduce risk of certain diseases
• prepare my body for when we decide to have kids
• have more energy
• fight depression
• be able to participate in sports and outdoor activities
• shop in normal stores for CUTE clothes
• confidence
• better mood
• the keychain, obviously